The English course is 100 meetings with America & # 039;

The English course is 100 meetings with America & # 039;
A graduate of the University of the United States, the author’s course. Video lessons and tests.
Four stages of immigration and a diary from Canada.
Old anecdote: The man fell on the terrible Court. You learned his personal business and they say you lived 50 to 50. So, choose hell or heaven.
& mdash; And you can see first?
& mdash; Go on, we have just a tourist excursion to hell. A man comes down into a spacious tavern underground. There & mdash; fun, whiskey river. Girls on a pole naked dancing. Maps, Mouzon, smoke of cigarettes, kutjozh, orgy.
Rise to paradise. There is silence and grace. Like in Gorky Park on Saturday. The old women on the stools on the zither play chorals. Cleanliness and peace. Nobody smokes. Beer non-alcoholic. In general, longing mortal. Suddenly the voice of the Lord:
& mdash; Well, what have you decided? Remember, there’s no turning back! In paradise, they do not issue a visa again.
& mdash; I want to hell. And at the same instant it turns out in a barrel of boiling resin. Around the cries, moaning, devils are evil. How to stumble the man:
& mdash; You brought me to the wrong hell, I want to go to where I was yesterday! The main devil leaned over him and affectionately, so, says:
& mdash; And you do not confuse tourism with immigration!
When our people move to America for permanent residence, they experience several stages. I have repeatedly received letters from my students, they did not understand this themselves, they described the new life to the accuracy of every stage of the ‘cultural shock’. REMARK FURTHER +
Cultural shock is emotional or physical discomfort caused by a collision with another culture, an unfamiliar place, when a person is forced to adapt to a new order in which previously learned cultural values and behaviors do not work.
This experience of the new culture is painful and unpleasant. Within the framework of one’s own culture, a persistent illusion of one’s own vision of the world, a way of life, a mentality, etc., is created as the only possible and, most importantly, the only permissible. Acute cultural shock (mainly caused by moving to another country), as a rule, consists of several phases. However, it should be acknowledged that not everyone passes through these phases, nor are there enough time in a foreign environment to go through certain phases.
“Honeymoon”. During this period, people perceive the distinction between “old” and “new” culture “through rose-colored glasses” – everything seems wonderful, and beautiful. In this state, a person can be addicted to new food for him, a new place of residence, new habits of people, new architecture etc. “Reconciliation”. After some time, people cease to focus on minor differences between cultures. However, he again strives for food, which is used to at home, the rhythm of life in a new place of stay can seem too fast or too slow, people’s habits can be irritating, etc. “Adaptation.” After a while, a person begins to get used to a new environment for him. He no longer reacts negatively or positively, because he adapts to the new culture. He again leads the daily life, as before in his homeland. “Reverse cultural shock.” The return to the native culture after adaptation to the new one can again cause the person in the above-described phases, which can last not very long or as long as the first cultural shock in a foreign land.
Yes, I myself and my family experienced something similar when we lived a year in the United States. Although, of course, in & laquo; micro & raquo; sizes. Still, do not confuse business trip and relocation forever. Recently on the Internet I came across a funny diary of our man (I quote in the original), settled in Canada. The author of the diary from Canada has a great sense of humor. But, the most interesting – reviews on the forum, like, & laquo; Did not understand, and what’s the catch? & Raquo;
Stage 1-st & laquo; Intoxication & raquo; The reality is perceived through the & zaquo; rose-colored glasses & raquo ;. Everything is so charming and beautiful! The brain absorbs everything new like a sponge. I want to tell friends and relatives. And they fly admiring letters to their homeland. Not everything is as scary as it seemed! We did it!
August 15. Here we are in Canada. I’m fascinated by this country! It’s amazing here! The mountains are so beautiful!
I’m looking forward to seeing them covered with snow. October 14 CANADA! This is the most wonderful place on earth! The leaves in the trees turned yellow and acquired all shades of the spectrum from red to orange. Yesterday I made an exciting trip outside the city, to the countryside.
You will not believe! I saw wild deer! In the wild they are so beautiful and graceful. Verily, these are the most charming animals on the planet. Well, just cute! No, it’s really paradise!
11th of November. Soon the hunting season for deer opens. It’s horrible! I can not imagine that someone can raise his hand to this sweet, harmless creature. We expect snow from day to day. I like it here!
December 2nd. At last! That night it was snowing. HOORAY. Waking up in the morning, we found a charming picture outside the window. Everything is covered with a snow-white, fluffy veil. Kind, like on an amazing Christmas card! I am impressed! My wife and I ran happily out of the house and, having quickly cleared the porch and parking lot, began to throw snowballs with laughter. I won. Suddenly the snowplow passed us, filling the parking lot with snow. But it did not upset us, and I quickly threw the snow back. How good it is here! I love Canada!
Stage 2-ya & laquo; Sobering & raquo; Adrenaline is over after the move. You start to notice some minor shortcomings. It is understood that not everything is so radiant and beautiful. Again, there are everyday problems. The neighbors of the Chinese begin to irritate. But, for now, everything is tolerable.
12 December. That night it snowed again. Snowplow repeated his trick and filled up the parking lot …
December 19th. It snowed again that night. I still could not clean the parking lot and go to work. It’s great here, of course, but I’m already exhausted, constantly cleaning the parking lot from the snow. Idiot snowplow!
Stage 3-ya “Hangover” & raquo; Irritation reaches a peak. After the adrenaline has ended, the money from the apartment sold before departure leaves, and it’s still not possible to find a high-paying job. In short, the complete & la scribe & raquo; and frustration (the collapse of hopes). The brain begins to drill the eternal question: & laquo; What to do and who is to blame? & Raquo;
22 December. Again at night this white abomination fell! I earned bloody blisters on my hands and a constant back pain from the endless snow cleansing. It seems that this woodpecker on the snowplow hides around the corner and is only waiting for me to throw snow off the parking lot. CANADIAN FATHER A **. December 25 MERRY FAKEON CRISMAS! Again this fucking snow. Just get to the throat of that son of a bitch who’s on the snowplow. I swear I would have strangled a freak. And then, why do city services not scatter salt on icy roads? Yesterday I walked and almost got myself killed.
27th of December. At night, this white g ** again fell. The third day I sit at home, except for the sorties to clean the parking lot after the snowplow. I can not get out anywhere. The car disappeared under the mountain of this white rubbish! And how bitterly cold! A guy from the Bureau of Predictions on the “box” promises another 20 centimeters of rubbish this night. GOAT. And do you know how many snow shovels make up these 20 centimeters ?!
December 28th. This g ** don from the Bureau of Forecasts was wrong! Dropped 50 centimeters. It seems that this snow does not melt until the summer. The snowplow was stuck near our house, and this *** – the driver came running to us with a request to lend a shovel. I told him that I broke six shovels, throwing back the white shit that he was filling our parking lot, and now I’ll break the seventh on his lamb’s head!
4 January. Today, finally, got out of the house. I went to the store to buy food. And so, on the way back, this beast-deer-flies out onto the road and chops the entire front end of the car! IN, B * I! Damage of 3 thousand dollars. Well, why did not the hunters-hunters kill these paskuds in November? These fucking deer are everywhere and everywhere! To break them, bastards! February 3 I took the car to the workshop. You will not believe, but this pellet has managed to rust completely! From salt, which the goats from the city services poured into the road …
Stage 4-th & laquo; And in the morning they woke up & raquo; A person, or, getting used to the realities of a new life, finally makes a decision, begins to act. Goes to permanent work. Becomes like everyone else. It directs its energy not to destruction, criticizing everything and everything, but to creating. Either & la for breaking & raquo ;. Goes away into himself (or into a binge), closes in the Russian-speaking environment. And then, in general, comes back.
May 10. Everything, nah! I’m leaving for Florida! I can not imagine that anyone who is in his right mind will want to live in this fucking Canada!
Coming now on a visit home, suddenly you see something that you did not notice before. Dirty paid toilets. Kidalovo and total bribery. Headache and smoking are everywhere. Poor apartment conditions, etc. It’s getting scary and I want to go back to the one that’s settled, and now it’s my native & raquo; new life.
P.S. Where better, where worse. As they say in America: & # 39; It’s up to you & 39; & mdash; You decide. And I remember one more anecdote:
The old Jew comes to OVIR and says: & mdash; I thought for a long time, and you know, I decided to go to Israel.
They say to him: & mdash; Please make out the documents.
He comes to Israel and, after some time, goes to the appropriate authorities.
& mdash; Well, you are very hot here, and I have pressure. I want back.
& mdash; Please, go back. He comes to Odessa, goes to OVIR.
& mdash; You know, they do not pay anything here at all, I still want to go to Israel.
& mdash; Please, leave. Returns to Israel.
& mdash; You know, I’m sad. I have so many friends in Odessa! And I realized that here, I’m very lonely.
& mdash; For God’s sake, go to your Odessa friends! He again goes to Odessa to OVIR.
& mdash; I’m an old sick man, but here is a backward medicine. I want to come back.
& mdash; Listen, do not fool around! Decide finally where you are well and stay there.